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Andrew Clover
Andrew Clover is a dad of three. He is an actor, comedian and wrote the weekly column in the Sunday Times, ‘Dad Rules’. Andrew appears in the programme, ‘My Almost Famous Family’ on BBC2 and recently released the insightful book, ‘Dad Rules’.
Time out...
What's your favourite thing about summer?
We have an allotment and I love going down there in the evening sunshine to water lettuces and pick strawberries.
Where would you go on your dream holiday?
Last year I stayed in London and discovered that August at home is delicious. The woods are empty and full of magic. I sort of wish I was home this summer but I've signed up to spend August at the Edinburgh Festival doing a comedy show.
What's your favourite summer dish?
Anything from our allotment. The potatoes are great. I like them boiled with loads of butter.
Are you a whizz on the barbecue?
No – I lack all the manly skills! Our house has white walls which are glaring in the summer light. I prefer cooking and eating indoors with the back door wide open.
My guide for new dads
Andrew Clover gives his own top tips for new dads
The Government has released its Guide for New Dads. ‘Welcome to the greatest adventure of your life,’ it begins, then advises ‘avoid a situation where mother-and-child become the new couple, and you’re on the outside...’ This is useful, but dispiriting, so I’m offering my own guide for both new parents. Here’s everything you need to know…
1. Don’t let the baby suck just for comfort, or mum will get really sore. Usually the new mum spends the first day saying: ‘She looks so sweet!’ and the second saying: ‘My nipples are in agony!’
2. Beware: you’ll be inundated by visitors. Most are relatives whose mission is to claim the child for their family. ‘Oh look’ they say, ‘she looks just like Uncle Rodney!’ Usher the well-wishers out, unless they’re offering to cook.
3. When you change their nappy, lift both feet, or you might twist their hips. When you lift babies, support the head. Beyond that, be confident with them. They’re sturdier than you think.
4. After feeding they must burp. You hold them upright and they do it themselves. But sometimes you can expel the burp by massaging gently on the lower back. This is immensely satisfying. You feel like you’re playing bagpipes, while making a milky smell.
5. As soon as possible you’ll want a schedule: feeding every three hours, with naps in between. At first, they want to sleep all the time. Try to copy them.
6. Remember: breastfeeding is best. But it’s a good idea if dad does the 1am feed from a bottle. It gives mum a rest, and gives him something to do. I adored that feed. My daughter would stare into my eyes, giving me a look, which seemed to say: ‘I don’t know who you are, but I think I love you… I have just peed! It feels warm!’
7. Don’t worry if they cry a little before sleeping. Wrap them tightly and then leave them. If you stay and fuss, you’re raising a child who’ll refuse to sleep, unless she’s being rocked/patted/sung to. My daughter Cassady kept that up for years. Aged four, she was still waking at night, and calling for her masseur. And I love singing, but not when it’s 3am, and the only song allowed is Old MacDonald Had a Farm.
8. If they’re crying, they’re generally trying to say ‘I’m tired!’ or ‘I’m hungry!’ or ‘it is too HOT and SHOUTY in here!’ Your job is to empathise, and respond. Soon you’re noticing that the air in the garden is cooler and calmer. You’re starting to see the world from their point of view. And if you can do that, you’re really beginning the greatest adventure of your life.
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